Skip to main content

Heartache

It's a dull ache, really.  Tears may come, but sometimes they don't.  Lots and lots of sighing, usually.  Anguish.  Often, the origin is unknown and more often the WHY is bigger than the WHAT.  In other words, I know the event(s) that caused the heartache.  I just don't understand why that caused this much heartache.  Why am I so bothered by this?  Why can't I let this go? People all around me are grieved by much bigger, much harder circumstances and I can't seem to get over this? 

David asks the same question in Psalm 42:11 (NLT)..."Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?"

We are by nature emotional beings.  We were created that way.  We laugh, we cry, we get angry, we can be sappy and we can be cold--very, very cold.  We love, we hate.  Then, the compilation of the involuntary emotion with the deliberate analysis of that emotion yields another feeling.  Overwhelmed.
I feel this way  +  why do I feel this way  + am I the only one who feels this way = 
overwhelming helplessness    (i.e. what is wrong with me???)
I believe things come our way to reveal to us what we cannot see about ourselves on our own.  So many times I have questioned my reaction to the smallest situation.  I would walk away after a gross overreaction to a situation thinking how will I ever show my face again?  Why am I so angry or why did that harmless comment cut so deeply?  After a little while, I begin to see a pattern.  Then, when I take time to study the pattern, I find the trail leads back to days, months, years past.   Finally, the aha! moment.   I can usually follow the clues back to the very first time I felt that emotion, be it rejection, belittlement, ridicule, abuse, neglect, abandonment...and the list goes on.  So then, I have to stop and deal with whatever the source is that left my heart broken.  Forgive the wrong, release the hurt, accept the healing.  Keep walking.

Our journeys, our paths, our stories all differ, but our feelings, our reactions, our insecurities are probably very much the same because we all have the same desires that make us human.  We want to be loved and accepted.  We want approval.  We want to be understood.  When we're not, we feel it.  Heartache.

The psalmist, David, had the key, however.  For in the latter part of  Psalm 42:11, he writes, "Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God!"  The amplified bible records this verse as, "Why are you cast down, O my inner self? And why should you moan over me and be disquieted within me? Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, Who is the help of my countenance, and my God."  Even though David did not identify the source of the heartache, he knew the Source of his comfort, he found his Hiding Place.

Psalm 34:18  "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wake Up Call

How long will you slumber?  The whispered words from Heaven sent a jolt through my spirit as a blaring alarm clock in the early hours of the morning. I sat bolt upright in my bed feeling a divine transformation taking place in the very depths of my being.  It's time to get up! There is work to do. I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have absolutely whined about  everything . In part because I have been suspended in the mire of complacency, living an unimpressive life wandering about in an uninspiring, unproductive, lackadaisical spiritual walk.  Feeling  trapped in circumstances out of my control while being rocked by the waves of indecision and doubt and self-degradation, I had been lulled to sleep. I was not trapped. I was stalled. Body, mind, and spirit. Paused. I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have absolutely whined about  everything . In part because I have been suspended in the mire of complacency...
2 comments
Read more

Trees Are Trees

Source Unknown "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then, God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light." Genesis 1:1-3 Creation was a six-day process that began and ended with the spoken word of God. He created the heavens and the earth, dry land and the seas, vegetation, seed-bearing plants, and trees on fruit-bearing land. He created seasons, living creatures, and man. Our Creator then rested on the seventh day, the day of fulfillment, the completion of His perfect plan. In one of my favorite passages in Genesis, the scripture depicts the scene of the "Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day." Can you picture it? The Creator walking through His very own creation in the early evening enjoying the brilliant, colorful flowers with their fragrance lingering in the air. The reg...
3 comments
Read more

Christmas Without Santa?

As a Christian, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes! Don't get me wrong. It's not a "bah humbug" kind of thing. I love, love, love Christmas! It truly does seem to be the most wonderful time of the year!  What is not wonderful, however, is the slow fade over the years from a celebration of the life of Christ to the greedy commercialism, secular "holiday" traditions that completely omit even the name of Jesus. We have found ourselves in a time where nativity scenes are prohibited and replaced with the jolly, fat guy and his little minions. Where have we gone wrong? We Christians claim to live lives completely dedicated to Christ, 100% sold out to His will and His plan, yet at the time of the celebration of His birth, we are so preoccupied with everything else that we often don't even take the time to read and pray--we are just too busy. Rather than being a light, an example of the life we are supposedly celebrating, we are too busy to help others, hoa...
4 comments
Read more