The Journey

If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Only a few months ago, my word would have been gray. The same word used to describe ashes or overcast skies. I woke up with the new year realizing I had taken up residence in a perpetual state of nothingness. Merely existing. Barely walking, barely talking, barely breathing, no identity. I was melting into the gray walls of life.  Going through the motions, but dying from the inside out. Two failed marriages and a brief, yet destructive relationship later, my prayer was to not become entangled in another relationship, romantic or otherwise, that was not a divine connection. I prayed,  do not let anyone cross my path lest you send them.  For years, it seemed as though that prayer had been answered until I found myself at the end of another it-wasn't-what-it-seemed and how-could-I-be-so-blind misadventure. The shiny apple with a rotten core. This time instead of shouldering all ...

Photo by Kelly Sikkema There  I  stood alone in my living room feeling completely stripped, naked. Once again, vulnerable. My emotions had betrayed me. My very own vow broken. The vo w that no one would ever be close enough to ca use this much pai n. Violent trembling commandeered my body while bile ros e in my t hroat as th ough I   would vomit, but only u nproductive heaving came. Every n erve ending stood to attention. Utterly and completely disemboweled, I had been g utted. After what seemed l ike an eternity, my eyes released the bitter t ears that spilled down my cheeks relentlessly for the next three days. I knew in my heart the only way I could emerge from this wreckage was to crawl up into the arms of my Father. Baring my soul and expressing the pain that I would typically stuff way down deep was raw, and it was U-G-L-Y, but it was beneficial. He washed me with the unstoppable tears until I felt cleansed. The sobbing waned and the panicked gasps for air turned in...

Vlad Bagacian I picture the journey as a bunch of small parts that make up the whole. Each small part contributing to the overall journey that takes us to our destination. In my research, I looked up the definition of the word journey and found that is defined as "a passage or progress from one stage to another."  For the past two years, my prayer has been to be the person God created me to be. I want to be molded into that person so I may fulfill God's purpose for my life in the earth. I have carried much guilt over the enormous amount of time and energy wasted making my own way and doing my own thing. Imagine my surprise when a guest on the Christian talk show I was watching this morning said, "our journey is to become who we were created to be." Yes, and amen! There is nothing that takes God by surprise and He takes what the enemy means for evil and turns it for my good! He restores my soul! Hallelujah! So, where are we headed on our earthly journey? As Chr...