The Journey

When writing, I have always been brutally honest because truth and light are our most powerful tools to combat deception and darkness. With all that we experience in life and all we overcome; our testimony is the fruit of our labor. So, it seems funny to me that I feel a little shy about sharing this experience so much so that it has taken me weeks to sit down and write it out. The most heartbreak, the biggest disappointments, the greatest anxieties, the worst betrayals, the utmost shame have all been the outcome of taking my destiny into my own hands.  This is my life and I am going to live it how I want to!  And each time, I imagine all of Heaven stepped back and said, "Okay, let us know how that works out for you." And each time, through tears and brokenness, I would crawl back into my Father's presence longing for His lovingkindness. Relinquishing all control, a life of peace would abound until the next time I thought I knew more than He did. Over and over and over....

How long will you slumber?  The whispered words from Heaven sent a jolt through my spirit as a blaring alarm clock in the early hours of the morning. I sat bolt upright in my bed feeling a divine transformation taking place in the very depths of my being.  It's time to get up! There is work to do. I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have absolutely whined about  everything . In part because I have been suspended in the mire of complacency, living an unimpressive life wandering about in an uninspiring, unproductive, lackadaisical spiritual walk.  Feeling  trapped in circumstances out of my control while being rocked by the waves of indecision and doubt and self-degradation, I had been lulled to sleep. I was not trapped. I was stalled. Body, mind, and spirit. Paused. I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have absolutely whined about  everything . In part because I have been suspended in the mire of complacency...

Fight or flight has been a resounding theme of my life for many, many years. Ashamedly I admit, I usually flee. I hide from confrontation. Afraid, I cower down because I just cannot take any more blows to my heart, my mind, my self-esteem, my ego, my reputation, and so on. Well, today my friends, I say NO MORE. Today, the line is drawn in the sand. Today, I FIGHT. The only way to combat a lie is with  TRUTH. For such a small word, a lie can be a powerfully, destructive tool. For some, lies roll off their tongues as smooth as silk making it is easier to tell a lie than to speak the truth even about the most insignificant things. Those who know better, however, may feel crushed by the heaviness of conviction when they are knowingly deceitful. Let me tell you, lies have teeth that rip flesh, tear out hearts, and shred a person's reputation. Manipulation and deceit often used for selfish gain spill innocent blood. Fibs, tall tales, white lies, just kidding, fudging, are...

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,  and my hope is in you all day long."  Psalm 25:5 Photo by: Leighann Blackwood When I began blogging nearly eight years ago, I did not really know what it would become. Ever-changing and developing as my path took twists and U-turns and even some sideroads, The Journey has always been my story. Some take offense as if it is a mean-spirited piece about them, some get upset if conviction comes, but mostly I hope God has used my words to bring healing and hope. Coming from a path of utter destruction, I felt as I should share sometimes my most intimate thoughts and emotions as I meander my way to the Cross. So, I am being totally transparent with you all as I say that today, I am writing from a place of brokenness, uncertainty, emptiness, and heartbreak. When I feel this way, the only thing that brings comfort is God's Word and prayer, much, much prayer. My prayer for today is, "Teach Me to Love." Lo...

Photo by Ben White I believe one of the most daunting things in my Christian journey is the art of being real, not with others, but with myself and with my Creator. This morning, a remarkably simple scripture sprung from the page and threw darts at my unsuspecting heart. Genesis 2:25 speaks of the time immediately following Eve's entrance into the Garden of Eden. It is written, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." Wow! Many times, I have felt completely exposed in the presence of my King, but very few are the times I felt unashamed. Usually, I just want to run for cover as Adam and Eve did and hide behind the cloak of denial and feigned ignorance. Not wanting to admit difficulty with those besetting sins that continue to trip us up--gluttony, anorexia, jealousy, inadequacy, rejection, pride, insecurity, arrogance, vanity, alcoholism, drug abuse, or even standing in judgment of those who clearly do not have it all together, not by our standard...

Photo by: Keyur Nandaniya This week I experienced pain and grief like I have not felt in quite some time. Blindsided, I experienced an overwhelming, devastating, painful wreckage. The toll of the complete stress I have endured for many weeks manifested itself yesterday. During Sunday morning worship, I collapsed---body, soul, mind, and even spirit.  Complete shutdown.  Okay, how did I get here, again? Then, revelation fell from Heaven and came to rest in my soul.  All this turmoil began with just one lie.  1 Kings 13 recounts the events that led to the violent death of a prophet while on divine assignment by God. Though I have read this story many times, the tragedy always perplexed me. Here we read of a man on a mission by the Lord who traveled to Bethel to confront the king about the ritual of burning incense on the altar which was in defiance of God's law. The man of God was commanded by God to neither eat nor drink in that place nor...