The Journey

Photo by Nik Shuliahin Overwhelmed is the best word I can think of to describe how I felt yesterday morning. I awoke hopeful but before 9:00 a.m. I found myself in an absolute state of despair which manifested itself physically. Anguish so great my bones ached, and I could picture the elephant sitting on my chest. Extreme fatigue threatened to completely overtake me as though to wipe me off the planet permanently. A blanket of hopelessness draped itself around my shoulders and I nearly buckled under the weight of sheer helplessness. In the words of David, "Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am faint; heal me Lord, for my bones are in agony." Dragging myself to the shower so I could be somewhat presentable to pick up my girls from school, I stood under the hot water letting it warm my chilled bones. As I set about the task at hand, a song rose from my belly. A song I did not feel like singing, a tune I could barely carry, a melody forced its way to my lips and I began to sing lo...

Photo by: Jude Beck When it comes to relationships, the struggle has been real for most of my life. Blindly walking into trap after trap after trap of deception and lies, damaging and painful patterns have thrust me into long periods of utter brokenness because I was not careful or even selective with whom I shared my heart. I could always find something good in that person. I could see their potential and I was going to be the one who would help them tap into that greatness. The innermost cry for love, affection, and acceptance muffled the voice of wisdom screaming in my ears. The result was a ravaged, tattered heart lost in fathomless depths of loneliness and despair and a cavernous, hollow soul. These are not only romantic relationships to which I refer. "Friends" who wanted to spend time with me when there was no one else available or "friends" who could not understand why I was such a weakling or “friends” who found subtle ways to point out my lowly status so ...