The Journey

I miss you so much. On my drive home today, I was thinking about you and all the things I have missed about you in your absence. Though losing you would have been devastating to me as a young child, I find losing you as an adult was crippling. The reason? There are many. You made me laugh all the time and you were the voice of reason when I could not make sense of things. I could never get too far out of line or forget my place without spurring the hand of correction into action. Thanks for that. You were my provider. We may not have had the best of everything, but we had everything we needed. As protector and defender, you were my knight in shining armor shielding me from things that I probably never knew about. Locking up the house at night once we all went to sleep was probably a small, mundane task for you. For your little girl, it was security. There was no fear of intruders; you were on guard. Most importantly, you loved me. Never once did I doubt that. My heavenly Fa...

Photo by Ryan Franco If I could see all of you reading this, I would probably see raised hands, knowing nods, and shouts of "amen" would be heard worldwide. Who hasn't had prayers that seem to go unanswered? Several years ago, there was something I really desired for the girls and me. There was a need and I had formulated the perfect fix. So, I presented my well thought out plan to my Father outlining all the reasons He should do things my way, and waited expectantly for His royal stamp of approval.   Nothing. After several days went by, I cried out in frustration, "God, I have done everything I know to do to get your attention. I have prayed diligently over this and, Lord, I even fasted for three days. Nothing moves you!" His response? "It's your faith that moves Me." Huh. Human beings by nature are very manipulative. We know how to manipulate our spouses, parents, children, co-workers, teachers, and so on into getting exactly what we want or...

Photo by Allef Vinicius A couple of weeks ago, my friend of 24 years lost her dad to cancer. He lived a few short weeks after receiving the terminal diagnosis. Though I grieved for her loss, this death also stirred up so many emotions in me. Upon hearing the news, my initial reaction was the care and concern for her as I was all too familiar with the pain of such a loss. I wanted my experience to be of comfort and help, but what I did not count on was my reaction to the tragedy. Obviously, I knew this would rub a tender spot in my heart. I did not, however, realize that tender spot was still a gaping hole. Has there been no healing over all these years? When life happens, we realize the depths of unresolved matters, unhealed hurts, unforgiveness, brokenness still left unmended, and what is hidden is painfully brought to light. The death of my father was the catalyst of my derailment from my Christian walk.  Just prior to the total upheaval in my life, I had already begun to dabbl...