The Journey

Photo by Kristopher Roller Over the past several years, I have had a series of circumstances that kept me in a seemingly never-ending funnel of turmoil.  Divorce, illness, long seasons of mediocre jobs, and unemployment and single parenting came together in a whirlwind of chaos and destruction. My days have been filled with putting out fires, but never gaining any real ground. My daily mantra has been,  If I can get through one more day, take one more step, pay one more payment, work one more hour, we will be okay.  Survival mode. Over the past few months, I have had an idea formulating in my spirit that will quite possibly set my little family on the path from a place of merely surviving to a thriving existence. Early one morning, I was mentally rehearsing the bullet points of my plan and prayerfully explaining why these changes will work, why they are necessary, and why they need to happen now when a little nugget was dropped into my spirit. The church has been ...

Photo by Kelly Sikkema There  I  stood alone in my living room feeling completely stripped, naked. Once again, vulnerable. My emotions had betrayed me. My very own vow broken. The vo w that no one would ever be close enough to ca use this much pai n. Violent trembling commandeered my body while bile ros e in my t hroat as th ough I   would vomit, but only u nproductive heaving came. Every n erve ending stood to attention. Utterly and completely disemboweled, I had been g utted. After what seemed l ike an eternity, my eyes released the bitter t ears that spilled down my cheeks relentlessly for the next three days. I knew in my heart the only way I could emerge from this wreckage was to crawl up into the arms of my Father. Baring my soul and expressing the pain that I would typically stuff way down deep was raw, and it was U-G-L-Y, but it was beneficial. He washed me with the unstoppable tears until I felt cleansed. The sobbing waned and the panicked gasps for air turned in...