The Journey

Photo by Ruan Richard shatter   / ˈSHadər / v.  cause to break suddenly and violently into pieces; explode to damage, as by breaking or crushing to be broken into fragments The sound of a glass breaking is distinct and unmistakable. Without seeing the event or understanding the circumstances surrounding the event, you instantly know the result. Broken glass. Once shattered, the damage sustained is irreparable. Collecting all the tiny shards is impossible. The fragmented glass may once again take shape w hen the big pieces are bonded together , but there will be holes and leaks and fractures forevermore. There will always be brokenness.  When the heart breaks, pain emanates from the point of impact throughout the body, mind, and spirit. The once whole person is shattered into a million pieces in a single, life-altering moment. The inward aches while the outward shell goes numb. Breath is painful. Words will not come; s eclusion feels safe.  The human spirit is crushed...

My family and I have just returned from a fabulous vacation in North Carolina to visit family topped off with an escape to the beach for some much-needed fun in the sun! We began the trip hiking in the mountains and ended with the sun and surf on the coast. It was glorious although this trip, as do all our trips it seems, had some bumps. I jokingly told my in-laws on the car ride up that our road trips always seem to bring us closer to Jesus! I did not know that was truly a prophetic statement for this vacation adventure. We had some minor car troubles with an overnight trip to the garage for the Dodge, my hubby lost his wallet for a very stressful ten minutes before remembering where he hid it for safekeeping, and on our first full day at the beach, I encountered a bit of trouble, to say the least.  The Friday before the 4th of July was just gorgeous at Kure Beach! The sun was gleaming on the refreshingly cool ocean water as the pelicans and seagulls soared over us chattering...

When writing, I have always been brutally honest because truth and light are our most powerful tools to combat deception and darkness. With all that we experience in life and all we overcome; our testimony is the fruit of our labor. So, it seems funny to me that I feel a little shy about sharing this experience so much so that it has taken me weeks to sit down and write it out. The most heartbreak, the biggest disappointments, the greatest anxieties, the worst betrayals, the utmost shame have all been the outcome of taking my destiny into my own hands.  This is my life and I am going to live it how I want to!  And each time, I imagine all of Heaven stepped back and said, "Okay, let us know how that works out for you." And each time, through tears and brokenness, I would crawl back into my Father's presence longing for His lovingkindness. Relinquishing all control, a life of peace would abound until the next time I thought I knew more than He did. Over and over and over....

Photo by Samuel Martins Surpassing the confines of just an emotion, a broken heart causes actual, physical suffering, a pang that can be felt in your chest cavity. The emptiness of a hollowed-out soul lies imprisoned in the ribcage and each bone aches from the inside out. Torment stretches its ugly fingers to the core of the mind where painful memories are housed, where hurtful words linger, and where swirling thoughts run rampant as it extends its cruel feet to the very pit of the stomach flooding the entire torso with grief, angst, and brokenness. The torso is the middlemost part of the body from which every appendage stems. It is your center, your equilibrium. Is it any wonder that when the heart is broken, everything else in life seems to fall out of balance? "The human spirit can endure in sickness,   but a crushed spirit who can bear?"    Proverbs 18:14  There is hope, though. Psalm 126:5 enco...