The Journey

My family and I have just returned from a fabulous vacation in North Carolina to visit family topped off with an escape to the beach for some much-needed fun in the sun! We began the trip hiking in the mountains and ended with the sun and surf on the coast. It was glorious although this trip, as do all our trips it seems, had some bumps. I jokingly told my in-laws on the car ride up that our road trips always seem to bring us closer to Jesus! I did not know that was truly a prophetic statement for this vacation adventure. We had some minor car troubles with an overnight trip to the garage for the Dodge, my hubby lost his wallet for a very stressful ten minutes before remembering where he hid it for safekeeping, and on our first full day at the beach, I encountered a bit of trouble, to say the least.  The Friday before the 4th of July was just gorgeous at Kure Beach! The sun was gleaming on the refreshingly cool ocean water as the pelicans and seagulls soared over us chattering...

Life is simply hard sometimes. It can be messy and that is okay for out of adversity comes strength. Right? We build faith muscles along the way. Often, though, we tend to take up residence in the mess. We wallow. Or maybe, we find ourselves blindsided and disoriented and it takes time to get our bearings before we can manage to claw our way out of the mire. Then, there are times when someone comes along and throws us a rope. Don't you get tired of that feeling? I do. I have prayed for several years now that God would reveal himself to me. I want to know Him for myself. Not what I am taught in church or what others say about who He is. I want to truly walk boldly and honestly before God the way He intends and be who He created me to be. Recently, I read in the biblical book of Romans that God makes His invisible qualities visible in the things He made. If we look, we can see God everywhere! The spiritual revealed in the natural. Did you know that in the Bible, trees are often ...

If you had to choose one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Only a few months ago, my word would have been gray. The same word used to describe ashes or overcast skies. I woke up with the new year realizing I had taken up residence in a perpetual state of nothingness. Merely existing. Barely walking, barely talking, barely breathing, no identity. I was melting into the gray walls of life.  Going through the motions, but dying from the inside out. Two failed marriages and a brief, yet destructive relationship later, my prayer was to not become entangled in another relationship, romantic or otherwise, that was not a divine connection. I prayed,  do not let anyone cross my path lest you send them.  For years, it seemed as though that prayer had been answered until I found myself at the end of another it-wasn't-what-it-seemed and how-could-I-be-so-blind misadventure. The shiny apple with a rotten core. This time instead of shouldering all ...

Photo by: Jude Beck When it comes to relationships, the struggle has been real for most of my life. Blindly walking into trap after trap after trap of deception and lies, damaging and painful patterns have thrust me into long periods of utter brokenness because I was not careful or even selective with whom I shared my heart. I could always find something good in that person. I could see their potential and I was going to be the one who would help them tap into that greatness. The innermost cry for love, affection, and acceptance muffled the voice of wisdom screaming in my ears. The result was a ravaged, tattered heart lost in fathomless depths of loneliness and despair and a cavernous, hollow soul. These are not only romantic relationships to which I refer. "Friends" who wanted to spend time with me when there was no one else available or "friends" who could not understand why I was such a weakling or “friends” who found subtle ways to point out my lowly status so ...

Photo by Vadym “The porcupine, whom one must handle gloved, may be respected, but never loved.”               ~Arthur Guiterman Those who know me, even those who have followed my blogs, know I have struggled in relationships. Though it is true, many of the hellacious, short-lived relationships were the result of simply picking the wrong people--whether romantic relationships, friendships, even mentors. For this reason, it is particularly important to pray about every aspect of your life, not just "the big things." In all actuality, the simplest details overlooked can thrust you into the most difficult and most painful situations from which to extricate yourself. Often, this is where we experience being blind-sided. Through these tumultuous times, as we all do, I have developed a defense mechanism that I only discovered in the past few weeks. In my prayer time, a revelation came to me so clearly, I may as well ha...