The Journey

I miss you so much. On my drive home today, I was thinking about you and all the things I have missed about you in your absence. Though losing you would have been devastating to me as a young child, I find losing you as an adult was crippling. The reason? There are many. You made me laugh all the time and you were the voice of reason when I could not make sense of things. I could never get too far out of line or forget my place without spurring the hand of correction into action. Thanks for that. You were my provider. We may not have had the best of everything, but we had everything we needed. As protector and defender, you were my knight in shining armor shielding me from things that I probably never knew about. Locking up the house at night once we all went to sleep was probably a small, mundane task for you. For your little girl, it was security. There was no fear of intruders; you were on guard. Most importantly, you loved me. Never once did I doubt that. My heavenly Fa...

Photo by: Jude Beck When it comes to relationships, the struggle has been real for most of my life. Blindly walking into trap after trap after trap of deception and lies, damaging and painful patterns have thrust me into long periods of utter brokenness because I was not careful or even selective with whom I shared my heart. I could always find something good in that person. I could see their potential and I was going to be the one who would help them tap into that greatness. The innermost cry for love, affection, and acceptance muffled the voice of wisdom screaming in my ears. The result was a ravaged, tattered heart lost in fathomless depths of loneliness and despair and a cavernous, hollow soul. These are not only romantic relationships to which I refer. "Friends" who wanted to spend time with me when there was no one else available or "friends" who could not understand why I was such a weakling or “friends” who found subtle ways to point out my lowly status so ...