The Journey

photo by: freestocks Ah, the Christmas season is upon us. The time of year where people are a little bit kinder, more compassionate, and even generosity peeks out from the pocket we have shoved it all year when our own needs, wants, and aspirations take priority. Alas, the holidays can also be bleak. Amidst all the festivities and throngs of people milling about the malls, grocery stores, parades, office parties, and grand church productions, loneliness creeps in and overtakes in a sneak attack. An indescribable emptiness brings consuming, tormenting thoughts that seep every ounce of joy from those things that usually bring smiles and makes everyday tasks feel insurmountable. Christmas movies have become more about falling in love and dreams coming true which only adds to the disappointment realized on January 1 when nothing magical took place for you.  This morning, thoughts collided forming something so beautiful in my mind as I heard the word...

"Brittni, Brittni, look at me. Brittni, open your eyes. Open your eyes. Stay with me." Dim lights appear overhead as I am being moved through some kind of a corridor. I hear muffled voices and people are moving fast all around me. Who is calling my name? Where are they taking me? I feel so tired. I cannot keep my eyes open.  "Brittni, Brittni, Bri..." Christmas Eve is not at all magical when your home is turned into a secondary site for a terribly busy, very disorganized, and extremely tumultuous catering business. I used to tell my ex-husband the name of the business should be Chaos Catering. He laughed, but secretly agreed. This was not the first Christmas Eve I had to endure the turbulent scurrying of servers, bartenders, and chefs. Food flying on meticulously decorated fine silver platters, wine glasses hurriedly loaded into crates for transport, more food flying...and language that would make a sailor blush. (Sometimes, that was me. Ha!) This year was more d...