Lately, I have been thinking a lot about past, current, and even future relationships. I've discovered ways in which past relationships have had an effect on current relationships and will quite possibly taint future relationships if corrections and adjustments are not made. We are all aware past hurts, trials, struggles make us who we are, but we need to realize the impact those things have on our vision, the way we see people.
As my favorite Golden Girl would say, "picture it." It is morning and you are super excited to be alive! You get dressed and your morning routine could not be smoother or more efficient. Your morning devotional was power-packed and you felt you actually touched the Throne of God in your prayer time. You put on your Super Christian Cape with matching Super Christian shades with, of course, super spiritual lenses. You are clothed in righteousness, ready for the day! You are unstoppable. Sure you encounter obstacles throughout the day, but you can leap tall buildings!
Now, same scenario only this particular morning you are grieving. The thought of actually rolling out of bed and pulling on your clothes seems to be more than you can stand. You feel your prayer life is stifled and you want to ask how anyone can write such an insensitive devotional. Now, every obstacle you face is debilitating. Forget leaping tall buildings...you are not so sure the building hasn't already collapsed on top of you! Why does every single thing you face seem so much harder? As David described in Psalm 88:9, "my eyes are dimmed with grief." You can't see except through lenses of grief.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a very emotionally animated "conversation" with a person I am very close to. This person probably knows me better than even some members of my family, yet my immediate reaction was to place this person in a category of others who had rejected and hurt me. No benefit of the doubt, no rationalization, you are just like all the rest. I would say that day I was looking through multiple lenses, trifocals maybe. Hurt, rejection, abandonment. While the situation or the action may not have been innocent, the person was. I fortunately have been able to reassess and make restitution, but it really opened my eyes to other situations I have indeed reacted to rather than responding with clear lenses. Clarity.
I see other areas in my life that need this assessment. It is, for instance, very difficult for me to be close to "church people" because I was so severely hurt and abandoned by them in the past. Becoming involved in ministries is more than I can bear because I was so active in the church of my youth. I think, what's the point? What did all that service, commitment, dedication mean in the end? What was it all for, anyway? So, when situations arise, I have to check myself. Am I seeing clearly or am I looking through lenses of pain, anguish, possibly even anger?
This blog would be far too long if I even touched romantic relationships, but I assure you there is still much work to be done in this area. Far too much rejection, hurt, abandonment, and questionable motives have left their mark. So, I know, before entering any kind of serious relationship, it should indeed be bathed in prayer. God knows all. 1 Corinthians 4:5 tells us not to judge anyone ahead of time, "...For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives." It is my prayer that God surrounds me with those of good intent and remove those of bad intent. No more wrong relationships. If I trust Him, He will lead me. No more pitfalls, no more u-turns.
When facing any situation, I encourage you to check your lenses. If you feel yourself reacting rather than responding, it may not be the other person or even the predicament you've found yourself in. The problem may just be an old wound reopened. Sometimes bad things do happen to good people, but sometimes good people expect, and therefore, find bad things to happen to them. Know that everyone is not out to get you. If you do keep finding yourself in the same crisis repeatedly, whether with the same person or the same scenario with different players, ask God to clean your lenses and help you to see, to really see as He sees. Clear vision.
Psalm 141:8 "But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD..."
As my favorite Golden Girl would say, "picture it." It is morning and you are super excited to be alive! You get dressed and your morning routine could not be smoother or more efficient. Your morning devotional was power-packed and you felt you actually touched the Throne of God in your prayer time. You put on your Super Christian Cape with matching Super Christian shades with, of course, super spiritual lenses. You are clothed in righteousness, ready for the day! You are unstoppable. Sure you encounter obstacles throughout the day, but you can leap tall buildings!
Now, same scenario only this particular morning you are grieving. The thought of actually rolling out of bed and pulling on your clothes seems to be more than you can stand. You feel your prayer life is stifled and you want to ask how anyone can write such an insensitive devotional. Now, every obstacle you face is debilitating. Forget leaping tall buildings...you are not so sure the building hasn't already collapsed on top of you! Why does every single thing you face seem so much harder? As David described in Psalm 88:9, "my eyes are dimmed with grief." You can't see except through lenses of grief.
A couple of weeks ago, I had a very emotionally animated "conversation" with a person I am very close to. This person probably knows me better than even some members of my family, yet my immediate reaction was to place this person in a category of others who had rejected and hurt me. No benefit of the doubt, no rationalization, you are just like all the rest. I would say that day I was looking through multiple lenses, trifocals maybe. Hurt, rejection, abandonment. While the situation or the action may not have been innocent, the person was. I fortunately have been able to reassess and make restitution, but it really opened my eyes to other situations I have indeed reacted to rather than responding with clear lenses. Clarity.
I see other areas in my life that need this assessment. It is, for instance, very difficult for me to be close to "church people" because I was so severely hurt and abandoned by them in the past. Becoming involved in ministries is more than I can bear because I was so active in the church of my youth. I think, what's the point? What did all that service, commitment, dedication mean in the end? What was it all for, anyway? So, when situations arise, I have to check myself. Am I seeing clearly or am I looking through lenses of pain, anguish, possibly even anger?
This blog would be far too long if I even touched romantic relationships, but I assure you there is still much work to be done in this area. Far too much rejection, hurt, abandonment, and questionable motives have left their mark. So, I know, before entering any kind of serious relationship, it should indeed be bathed in prayer. God knows all. 1 Corinthians 4:5 tells us not to judge anyone ahead of time, "...For he will bring our darkest secrets to light and will reveal our private motives." It is my prayer that God surrounds me with those of good intent and remove those of bad intent. No more wrong relationships. If I trust Him, He will lead me. No more pitfalls, no more u-turns.
When facing any situation, I encourage you to check your lenses. If you feel yourself reacting rather than responding, it may not be the other person or even the predicament you've found yourself in. The problem may just be an old wound reopened. Sometimes bad things do happen to good people, but sometimes good people expect, and therefore, find bad things to happen to them. Know that everyone is not out to get you. If you do keep finding yourself in the same crisis repeatedly, whether with the same person or the same scenario with different players, ask God to clean your lenses and help you to see, to really see as He sees. Clear vision.
Psalm 141:8 "But my eyes are fixed on you, Sovereign LORD..."
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