The Journey

When I joined Facebook  a couple of years ago, I was excited!  It is an awesome way to reconnect with friends and colleagues with whom I would otherwise have no contact.  Now, however, I have seen sides of people I wish I had never seen.  I am terribly disappointed and dismayed.  True character is revealed in hard times.  The saddest part is the people who are preaching the loudest are the non-believers or the secret believers who know better than to air their dirty laundry and pick fights on a very public Internet website.  Forget Christianity for a moment and let's talk about class. What caliber are you?  Do you not respect yourself more than that much less the innocents who have no control over what you post?  I shouldn't have to guard my page since I get to choose who will be my Facebook friends. Another disheartening phrase I continually see repeated is "so-called Christians."  I have seen this phrase tossed ar...

Those of you who know me really well know that I'm not what some might call a religious freak.  I am not part of a cult, nor do I hear strange voices in my head.  I'm not mentally unstable...hey, you stop laughing.  So, you might ask... Then, why do you believe God speaks to us?   I believe because I have experienced His voice in my life even from early childhood.  So, I know this to be true.  He talks to me because I talk to Him.  God has an open invitation into my life.  I pray for His direction, His leadership, and I ask Him questions.  He answers.  Sometimes, I don't like the answer, but He does answer.  Job 37:5 says, "God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. "  Sometimes, He doesn't answer because there are just some things we cannot know in advance.  Just like with my kids.  I do not let them in on plans for the weekend too early in the week.  If yo...

Imagine pulling up to the speaker at a McDonald's drive thru: Crew Member :  "Welcome to McDonald's.  May I take your order?" Customer :  "Yes, I would like whatever you have left from breakfast." Crew Member :  "Ma'am, we do have part of a biscuit and a piece of half-eaten bacon.  There is probably a third of a cup of coffee left, but we are totally out of creamer." Customer :  "That's fine.  I'm not really that hungry.  Whatever you have left.  I'll make do with that." Sounds silly, doesn't it?  We do this all the time in life and even in our spiritual walk.  We settle, we eke by on scraps, we "make do." In relationships, we can be just as ridiculous.  I have been guilty of taking whatever someone will give just to be with them.  I'm here to tell you that while loneliness seems unbearable, feeling used can kill you.  Not only will your self-esteem be obliterated, you will become enslaved to t...

It's a dull ache, really.  Tears may come, but sometimes they don't.  Lots and lots of sighing, usually.  Anguish.  Often, the origin is unknown and more often the WHY is bigger than the WHAT.  In other words, I know the event(s) that caused the heartache.  I just don't understand why that caused this much heartache.  Why am I so bothered by this?  Why can't I let this go? People all around me are grieved by much bigger, much harder circumstances and I can't seem to get over this?  David asks the same question in Psalm 42:11 (NLT)..."Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?" We are by nature emotional beings.  We were created that way.  We laugh, we cry, we get angry, we can be sappy and we can be cold--very, very cold.  We love, we hate.  Then, the compilation of the involuntary emotion with the deliberate analysis of that emotion yields another feeling...

Oh those school days, school days... Do you remember your first real crush?  I do.  He was so cute and He was all I could think about.  If I could eat, I would imagine him sitting beside me sharing my meal.  If I could sleep, I would dream about this handsome beau asking me out or bringing me flowers.  I also remember the day of reality.  All those hours, all that nervousness, all that planning to somehow cross paths was completely in vain.  For not only did he not even know who I was, my prince charming was hopelessly in love with someone else.  It can be very painful to spend your whole day or multiple days obsessing about someone only to discover you've never even crossed their mind.  So, then, I have to wonder is that how God feels about us?  Our Creator gives us life, provision, abundant blessings, and abounding forgiveness, grace, and mercy.  Yet, when we go about your daily lives, are we "crushing" on other things, e...

So, I just watched an orange juice commercial in which the Mom is sitting at the table being briefed by a group of people.  Each person described what she could expect to face as her day developed.  She responds with, "well I'm glad I have my orange juice."  Sitting here, I'm thinking Wow, if we could be privy to that kind of information every morning!  Of course, even as I type, I'm thinking, Wouldn't I just go back to bed rather than face those obstacles today?   So it is with our christian walk.  Proverbs 20:24 tells us that "man's steps are ordered by the Lord."  God does not unfold His plan for us step-by-step.  Sometimes He even gets super quiet when He is about to unfold something great for us.  My mind immediately goes to my kids.  I see myself holding a great big surprise behind my back.  I am as excited as they are to open my hands as they peer expectantly inside.  I think our Heavenly Father must feel the same...

Shamed, degraded, violated.  Raped. I would say there is nothing more humiliating than sexual assault.  To have something so very personal and intimate marred and stolen to satisfy a selfish, perverse desire.  Often times when you hear of someone being raped, it is an incident, a one-time attack.  Although there are victims who have endured this type of assault over and over for many, many years.  Rape occurs in marriage or even incestuously.  In marriage, a woman can feel this same reproach if she feels her only value to her husband is in the bedroom.  Forced participation in acts that bring shame or degradation is another form of this abuse.  The use of pornography can also be very demeaning.  Emotional abuse is as disparaging.  The exploitation literally strips dignity, self-worth, character.  The victim is left lifeless, robotic, functioning numbly.  The most vile part is hiding behind the ...

Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I’m sitting here watching the sun come up early on this Saturday morning.  The kids are with their Dad and the apartment is still and quiet.  Too quiet, almost.  Quiet is good, though, as I listen and wait expectantly on God to speak to my situation.  I have been troubled for several weeks now by a matter that would seem to many to be trivial, but it is HUGE to me.  The hardest part of all of this is that I cannot discuss it with anyone, and yet, that’s the best part.  Huh, you say? You see, I have had no choice, but to pray to about it.  I have said, “God, I can talk to no one else on this planet.  I have to talk to You.  You have to help me with this for it is only You Who can fix it.”  He hasn’t yet, but He ...

...and, well, the struggle continues. This is probably one of the hardest trials I've been in for some time.  Certainly, one of the longest in quite a while.  I'm discovering all kinds of things about myself.  Insecurities I thought I had conquered.  Wounds I thought were closed.  I've even realized some of the things from my past that I thought I was "okay" with really and truly scarred me almost with a numbing effect.  Only now, I do feel them.  The Plan : I have taken the kids to their Dad.  I am shutting myself away this weekend, and planting myself at the feet of Jesus until I hear from Him and things change or until at the very least I am changed.  I must have a breakthrough.  I am going to ask, knock, seek; ask, knock, seek; ask, knock, seek; ask, knock, seek. (Luke 11:9)  In the words of  David found in Psalm 143:1, "LORD, hear my prayer, listen to my cry for mercy; in your faithfulness and rig...

Do my actions crucify you all over again? My lifestyle has denied You.  Doubting your love for me is the same as falsely accusing You.  A bad attitude and ungodly ways have mocked You.  By serving the other gods in my life, I have given You a crown of thorns rather than the deserved crown of jewels.  Selfish, angry words aimed toward Heaven have pierced You.  Habitual sin is equivalent to spitting in Your face.  Ungratefulness rips, tears, scourges.  Distrust mimics nail puncturing skin, muscle, tendon, bone.  Complete disobedience has ruptured Your heart. Yet, You love me so.  What greater love than this? Luke 23:24  "Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them , for they do not know what they are doing.'"

Hello, my name is Brittni and I am a people pleaser.  They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, right? Today, I realized this has been a huge stumbling block for me.  Many of the situations I have found myself in can be attributed to doing something I didn't really want to do because I thought someone else wanted me to or better yet, needed me to do.  I have compromised my own beliefs, taken responsibility for things that were not my fault, even made untrue assessments about myself all for the pleasing of someone else.  I called it being agreeable, keeping the peace.  Only, I didn't have peace.  How dumb is that? Joyce Meyer writes, "IT ALL COMES DOWN TO ONE THING…Motives… Why are we doing (or not doing) something? Are we being motivated by fear, personal gain or a sense of obligation? Are we being motivated by a desire to be in control, accepted or seen?  These are all the wrong reasons for doing something. Our motive for...