Skip to main content

Taking Out the Trash

Fox Network Photos
My ex-husband (that would be hubby #1) told me shortly after we were divorced that he had a dream about me.  I have to tell you this dream has been haunting me for the past few days.  In the dream, he was standing beside this random dumpster.  When he peered inside, I was sitting in the middle of it rummaging through the garbage.  With tears in his eyes, ex-hubby said, "I just had this knowing that this was my fault.  I was the one who put you there."  This now brings to mind an episode of the 1997 television show Ally McBeal.   As the single, neurotic lawyer experiences a much-anticipated date turning into a complete disaster, she envisions herself being catapulted from a dumpster.  "Here it comes..." 

I have found myself in the middle of a situation that has brought back that very same feeling.  The feeling of total abandonment.  Again, I find how easily I can be discarded....taken out to the dumpster without a glimpse back in my direction.  There are lots of variables, complications and even reasons why.  Every action can be somewhat justified; however, the feeling is still very much the same.  Dumped.  Dumped on.  Used.  Then, discarded.  Amazingly, the other parties involved feel better.  Mission accomplished.  A load was literally taken off.  I, on the other hand, feel like the load, the very load that was dumped.  "Ugh, I am sorry" was offered in a cold, detached manner.  The validity of the remorse is questionable, though. I was the one who was approached.  I even predicted the very outcome. 

Shame on them or shame on me? 

I do know of a certainty, this was planned.  It was a planned attack to bring about this feeling, to try to knock me backwards.  Ephesians 6:12 immediately comes to mind: 
"For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places."
Well, do you want to guess where I have been?  If you guessed my favorite sofa cushion, you are correct.  That is where I'll be until I can find rest, until I can overcome this dreadful feeling that seems to be part of my identity.  I have not for whatever reason escaped this same wretched scenario.  I will, however, rise from this and I will clear this hurdle.  I will be smarter, I will be more alert, and with God's help, I will overcome.

Ironically, even as I'm sitting here blogging, I find, yet, another trap is being set.  Another staging of events...another distraction.

So, if you are looking for me, you know where I'll be...at the feet of Jesus.

James 1:1-4  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Christmas Without Santa?

As a Christian, yes, yes, yes, a thousand times, yes! Don't get me wrong. It's not a "bah humbug" kind of thing. I love, love, love Christmas! It truly does seem to be the most wonderful time of the year!  What is not wonderful, however, is the slow fade over the years from a celebration of the life of Christ to the greedy commercialism, secular "holiday" traditions that completely omit even the name of Jesus. We have found ourselves in a time where nativity scenes are prohibited and replaced with the jolly, fat guy and his little minions. Where have we gone wrong? We Christians claim to live lives completely dedicated to Christ, 100% sold out to His will and His plan, yet at the time of the celebration of His birth, we are so preoccupied with everything else that we often don't even take the time to read and pray--we are just too busy. Rather than being a light, an example of the life we are supposedly celebrating, we are too busy to help others, hoa
4 comments
Read more

Trees Are Trees

Source Unknown "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then, God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light." Genesis 1:1-3 Creation was a six-day process that began and ended with the spoken word of God. He created the heavens and the earth, dry land and the seas, vegetation, seed-bearing plants, and trees on fruit-bearing land. He created seasons, living creatures, and man. Our Creator then rested on the seventh day, the day of fulfillment, the completion of His perfect plan. In one of my favorite passages in Genesis, the scripture depicts the scene of the "Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day." Can you picture it? The Creator walking through His very own creation in the early evening enjoying the brilliant, colorful flowers with their fragrance lingering in the air. The reg
3 comments
Read more

People Pleaser

Hello, my name is Brittni and I am a people pleaser.  They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, right? Today, I realized this has been a huge stumbling block for me.  Many of the situations I have found myself in can be attributed to doing something I didn't really want to do because I thought someone else wanted me to or better yet, needed me to do.  I have compromised my own beliefs, taken responsibility for things that were not my fault, even made untrue assessments about myself all for the pleasing of someone else.  I called it being agreeable, keeping the peace.  Only, I didn't have peace.  How dumb is that? Joyce Meyer writes, "IT ALL COMES DOWN TO ONE THING…Motives… Why are we doing (or not doing) something? Are we being motivated by fear, personal gain or a sense of obligation? Are we being motivated by a desire to be in control, accepted or seen?  These are all the wrong reasons for doing something. Our motive for doing anything should always b
4 comments
Read more