"Brittni, Brittni, look at me. Brittni, open your eyes. Open your eyes. Stay with me." Bright lights, in a corridor. Who's calling my name? Where are they taking me? So tired...so very tired. "Brittni, Brittni..."
God, please, don't let me die lost...Lights out.
In the waiting room, my husband and mother-in-law were briefed on the severity and emergent nature of my condition. Consent forms had to be signed permitting a total hysterectomy if the physician's suspicions were true, suspicions of malignancy. Also, he had to give consent for me to receive blood as I had already lost 3 pints. The body contains only 8-10 pints so that was considered a significant loss. My family had already gone back to their hotel, so they had to load those poor kids back up to the hospital for more waiting-room waiting. When they arrived, I was already in surgery. It must have been very difficult to deal with stress of uncertainty, occupy small children, and try to function with very little sleep.
An examination revealed a uterine polyp, most likely present prior to conception, had grown with the baby during pregnancy. The growth, stimulated by estrogen, was almost the exact size of Carlisle's head. As you can see from the diagram, the polyp hung from the top of the uterus like a chandelier. Although to me, it looks more like one of those speed bags used by boxers. An oncologist was called in to be present for the procedure which, thank you, God, turned out to be quite minor. The polyp was "lassoed" and basically tied off preventing blood supply to the polyp. Basically, it would shrivel up and dissolve into nothing. If this technique did not work, then more surgery would be necessary. The technique did work and there was no cancer! Oh, magnify the Lord with me! Let us exalt His name together! (Psalm 34:3)
You're probably reading this and saying, "okay, so that's it? That's the big ending?" What you may not realize are the events leading up to this moment and even the events that have followed since.
You see, people were interceding on my behalf long before Christmas Eve. As I've already mentioned, I had a very real awareness that I would face death in all of this. In the early months of my pregnancy, my mom and sister came to Atlanta to visit. Our mission...maternity clothes. At six months, I was still wearing normal clothes, just a size or two larger. During our maternity venture, we stopped for lunch at which point I expressed my fear. I remember saying, "I don't even know if I'll live through labor." I was somewhat comforted by the words that all first time moms experience this type of anxiety, but I still had this nagging sense that something would go terribly wrong. So every night, I begged God not to let my die unsaved.
In the following weeks, my mother and sister requested prayer for me in a service at the church I now attend. The husband and wife team who are now my Pastors, Jeff and Mary Brady, began interceding for me. Sister Mary requested my sister call me from her cell phone and I took the call in our tiny little bathroom where I could lock the door. She began to pray and she explained that she could feel the very fear gripping me. The fear was so strong and the pressure so heavy she herself was unable to stand so she sat on the altar as she prayed with me.
In a later church service, Pastor Jeff called my mother and two sisters to the front of the church and prayed with them on my behalf. Another time of intercession. The Word of the Lord came, "No matter what you hear, do not say anything." Ironically, then again not so when it comes to matters where the Lord is invited, no one said a word upon the delivery of what could have been very devastating news.
Only prayers could be heard that night. Prayers in Atlanta, prayers in south Georgia, and prayers in Louisiana. James 5:16 tells us, "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. " I believe with all of my heart those prayers saved my life. Prayer empowers physicians to competently perform the tasks before them and to make wise medical decisions. Prayer counteracts fear and dread that would make us speak things into existence that are not the will of God. Prayer fights battles and the battle for my very soul was won on that Christmas night. I do not believe it was by accident that all of this occurred on the night we celebrate the birth of our Savior Who was to die so that every soul might be saved just like He saved mine.
This was the turning point for me. That moment of being so very close to death began to right the ship that had drifted so very far out to sea. A slow u-turn was set in motion to put me back on course. Thus, the beginning of the journey that would bring me back home, back to the person God created me to be, back to LIFE!
God, please, don't let me die lost...Lights out.
In the waiting room, my husband and mother-in-law were briefed on the severity and emergent nature of my condition. Consent forms had to be signed permitting a total hysterectomy if the physician's suspicions were true, suspicions of malignancy. Also, he had to give consent for me to receive blood as I had already lost 3 pints. The body contains only 8-10 pints so that was considered a significant loss. My family had already gone back to their hotel, so they had to load those poor kids back up to the hospital for more waiting-room waiting. When they arrived, I was already in surgery. It must have been very difficult to deal with stress of uncertainty, occupy small children, and try to function with very little sleep.
You're probably reading this and saying, "okay, so that's it? That's the big ending?" What you may not realize are the events leading up to this moment and even the events that have followed since.
You see, people were interceding on my behalf long before Christmas Eve. As I've already mentioned, I had a very real awareness that I would face death in all of this. In the early months of my pregnancy, my mom and sister came to Atlanta to visit. Our mission...maternity clothes. At six months, I was still wearing normal clothes, just a size or two larger. During our maternity venture, we stopped for lunch at which point I expressed my fear. I remember saying, "I don't even know if I'll live through labor." I was somewhat comforted by the words that all first time moms experience this type of anxiety, but I still had this nagging sense that something would go terribly wrong. So every night, I begged God not to let my die unsaved.
In the following weeks, my mother and sister requested prayer for me in a service at the church I now attend. The husband and wife team who are now my Pastors, Jeff and Mary Brady, began interceding for me. Sister Mary requested my sister call me from her cell phone and I took the call in our tiny little bathroom where I could lock the door. She began to pray and she explained that she could feel the very fear gripping me. The fear was so strong and the pressure so heavy she herself was unable to stand so she sat on the altar as she prayed with me.
In a later church service, Pastor Jeff called my mother and two sisters to the front of the church and prayed with them on my behalf. Another time of intercession. The Word of the Lord came, "No matter what you hear, do not say anything." Ironically, then again not so when it comes to matters where the Lord is invited, no one said a word upon the delivery of what could have been very devastating news.
Only prayers could be heard that night. Prayers in Atlanta, prayers in south Georgia, and prayers in Louisiana. James 5:16 tells us, "The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. " I believe with all of my heart those prayers saved my life. Prayer empowers physicians to competently perform the tasks before them and to make wise medical decisions. Prayer counteracts fear and dread that would make us speak things into existence that are not the will of God. Prayer fights battles and the battle for my very soul was won on that Christmas night. I do not believe it was by accident that all of this occurred on the night we celebrate the birth of our Savior Who was to die so that every soul might be saved just like He saved mine.
This was the turning point for me. That moment of being so very close to death began to right the ship that had drifted so very far out to sea. A slow u-turn was set in motion to put me back on course. Thus, the beginning of the journey that would bring me back home, back to the person God created me to be, back to LIFE!
"I shall not die, but live, And declare the works of the LORD." Psalm 118:17
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