The Journey

A couple of months ago during a Sunday morning worship service, I was stunned by the sound of a shower running.  I glanced outside to see if perhaps it was raining.  It wasn't.  I could literally hear the pulsating water beating against a tub floor. Then came the image of the shower water swirling around the drain.  I thought Well that makes sense.  A cleansing.   Today, as I was about to turn off the shower, I was reminded of the image.  The water swirling around the drain.  Down it goes with all of the dirt, all of the unpleasantness of the day, all washed away and out of sight.  Then, I think... It  IS washed away, out of sight, AND it does not return.   Hhmm...unless there is a clogged pipe, the water does not come back up.  The filth is gone.  (The clogged pipe will likely be the subject of another blog!) So, of course, I started thinking about where the water goes once it  leave...

I'm sitting here on a Sunday night, the beginning of a week of uncertainty.  There is more than one area of my life that seems to be shifting.   I have been in a sort of holding cell for almost three years, but  for nearly seven months, life was pretty quiet.  One thing we know for sure is nothing ever stays the same.  So, I would say the past five months have been a season of getting repositioned.  Feelings that were dormant have been awakened, things that were gratifying no longer satisfy, certainties have now become uncertain and some even obsolete.  Tonight, I sort of feel like an oxymoron.  While there is uncertainty which should be unsettling, I feel almost excited that things seem to be about to change.  My dear friend offered this word (from Joyce Meyer) today, "When God leads us out of a situation, He always takes us into something better."  She added, "Be encouraged, fret not and know that God is in c...

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about past, current, and even future relationships.  I've discovered ways in which past relationships have had an effect on current relationships and will quite possibly taint future relationships if corrections and adjustments are not made.  We are all aware past hurts, trials, struggles make us who we are, but we need to realize the impact those things have on our vision, the way we see people.  As my favorite Golden Girl would say, "picture it."  It is morning and you are super excited to be alive!  You get dressed and your morning routine could not be smoother or more efficient.  Your morning devotional was power-packed and you felt you actually touched the Throne of God in your prayer time.  You put on your Super Christian Cape with matching Super Christian shades with, of course, super spiritual lenses.  You are clothed in righteousness, ready for the day!...

One of my closest friends IM-ed me yesterday to share a somewhat comical dream she had the night before.  She dreamed I was about to move into a new house.  The neat part was my new place was actually a lighthouse.  (The humorous part was that we were sneaking into the locked  house to see if my new furniture which is oversized would fit.) Anyway, immediately my mind went to Jesus is The Lighthouse and we are to "abide in Him."   (John 15:4) So, I have been thinking about this dream for the past two days.  Abiding, living, setting up residence in The Lighthouse.  How do you do that exactly?  Well, let's begin with the structure.  A lighthouse is defined by Wikipedia as a tower, building, or other type of structure designed to emit light from a system of lamps and lenses (or fire in older times) and is used as an aid to navigation. Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the LORD is a fortified tow...

Sometimes the Bible can seem so contradictory.  Matthew 7:7 (NLT) states “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you."  Phillipians 4:6 (NLT) tells us, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done."  So, I've been questioning when am I supposed to "make my petitions known with thanksgiving" and walk away leaving my requests at The Throne and when should I "keep asking, seeking, knocking?"  I've said numerous times, God, I have prayed, fasted, spoken The Word regarding this situation with no answer.  Tell me what you want me to do.  What is it going to take?  I've done all I know to do.  Is there something hindering your answer as was with Daniel?   (Daniel 10, 11)   I believe I finally have my answer. Last night, my uncle and I were talking about some th...

Lonely nights can be cruel, but sometimes the morning can be much more so.  In an empty house, it seems as though the sunlight is too bright, any noise, even white noise, is greatly amplified, moving about seems necessary and pointless all at the same time.  The weight of the world that seems to be resting on my chest is now heavier than ever. For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that I have been struggling with a matter for several months.  It is still unresolved.  God is still silent concerning the matter.  Yesterday, I realized just how weary I have become over this.  I am finding the mixture of emotions glued together like a huge ball, a knot stuck in my throat, is beginning to break down as I identify and label each individual emotion.  When you can label something, pick it apart, you can better deal with the whole mass...divide and conquer.  Deal with each emotion separately because each emotion is unique an...

Okay, so here we go...Another hurdle, another confrontation with the past, my past.  Time to silence another haunting.  The only way to do so is to take it head on - turn around and face it, confront it, extinguish it.  The "haunted house, " if you will--with no disrespect to the Lord nor the current House of Worship--the church I used to call my home church.  The church where I spent my formative years, very crucial to the person I was then and even to the person I have become today, has haunted me for more than 10 years.  I had heard the current congregation would be remodeling so I just had to go visit before all of the signs of a time before were gone forever.  Memories... Let me tell you how today's adventure began.  For a few days now, I have been completely unsettled.  Can't stay still, can't stay home.  The kids are visiting their dad and the walls feel like they are closing in on me.  Have you ever looked in the mirror an...

So, I did something today that I haven't done since I've been back home in Moultrie.  I decided to "do lunch" by myself. The time has come to accept I am no longer half of a couple.  I am alone, but now I am a whole person, again, or at the very least well on my way.  I had forgotten that little tidbit while living with my husband.  That is to say...I should have been a whole person sharing a life with another whole person...then, the two might have been able "to become one."  Only neither of us was really comfortable apart so we had two incomplete people trying to find what we were missing in the other.  Needless to say, it did not work. Perhaps this moment of reality strikes today as the end of the week brings an end to another marriage.  This Friday, if all goes accordingly, I will sign a piece of paper that will in a split-second close the final chapter of the last 10 years of my life.  It is amazing how you can love someone s...