The Journey

This morning I am writing from a very dark, very lonely, very painful place.  David writes in Psalm 55:4, "My heart is grievously pained within me..."  For 2 1/2 years after returning home from Atlanta, I have been shielded.  My heart had a barrier, my eyes had blinders, my ears were covered from anyone and anything except the Lord.  I was in deep pursuit of all that is holy and He restored me, healed me, set my feet on the right course.  However, the past 6 months, I'd say, I have felt like that shield was lifted and fiery darts have been thrown from every direction.  Temptations, curiosities, longings, have come to pull me away, to drag me to certain death.  Death of spirit, death of heart, death of mind.  I told my close friend only a few days ago, I would rather be dead inside than to feel like I feel at this very moment. You see, the enemy laid a trap for me and I jumped right in with both feet.  Blindsided, again.  I fe...

This morning in our worship service, there was a very real, very palpable drawing of the Holy Spirit to come back to our first love.  A wooing, if you will, to return to the One Who loved us first.  A call was given to lay down the idolatry in our lives, casting down and putting away those things that we have made a priority over our relationship with The Living God.  Dethrone Flesh and let God be God of our lives.  At the end of the altar service, our Pastor, by Divine order, read 2 Chronicles 7:14.  Before citing the scripture, let me first set the stage for you.  Solomon, the son of King David, has completed the building of the temple.  If you know the story of David, you remember David had a heart to build a temple for the Lord; however, it was God's plan for Solomon to build the temple as David's time was one of war.  Solomon would reign in peace and the Lord would "establish his throne forever."  (1 Chronicles 17) ...

I am currently working through Beth Moore's study of David which is concentrated in the book of 2 Samuel.  In Chapter 19, the story reveals a conversation between Saul's grandson, Mephibosheth, and King David.  If you are familiar with the history of David, you remember the King sought out anyone left of Saul's lineage that he might bless.  Mephibosheth is described biblically as "crippled in both feet."  King David took him in and insisted the lame man would always eat at his table.  This particular part of the study is focused on the loyalty of Saul's descendant to King David, but the part of this passage that quickened me was the following verse.  Mephibosheth tells the King, "All my grandfather's descendants deserved nothing but death from my lord the king, but you gave your servant a place among those who eat at your table.  So what right do I have to make any more appeals to the king?" In 2 Samuel 9:8, Mephibosheth...

Howling wind, beating rain, boisterous thunder...awakened at 3 a.m.  Bright, flashes of lightening penetrated my bedroom as rolling thunder rattled the windows.  I peered through the blinds with sleepy eyes trying to focus on the images illuminated by the dance of lights in the heavens.  The lamp posts made obsolete by the bolts of electricity ripping through the night sky, the stars hidden, the moon nowhere to be found.  Water cascaded across the barren parking lot like ocean waves with no apparent beginning and no ending in sight.  As I groggily returned to my bed, I began mentally perusing the rooms of our small apartment wondering which place would be the safest should the predicted tornado come our way.  My two small children were tucked away in their snug beds not even aroused by the violent tempest parading outside their window. I, however, very much aware and now very much awake, decided either of the closets in their room woul...

A couple of months ago during a Sunday morning worship service, I was stunned by the sound of a shower running.  I glanced outside to see if perhaps it was raining.  It wasn't.  I could literally hear the pulsating water beating against a tub floor. Then came the image of the shower water swirling around the drain.  I thought Well that makes sense.  A cleansing.   Today, as I was about to turn off the shower, I was reminded of the image.  The water swirling around the drain.  Down it goes with all of the dirt, all of the unpleasantness of the day, all washed away and out of sight.  Then, I think... It  IS washed away, out of sight, AND it does not return.   Hhmm...unless there is a clogged pipe, the water does not come back up.  The filth is gone.  (The clogged pipe will likely be the subject of another blog!) So, of course, I started thinking about where the water goes once it  leave...

I'm sitting here on a Sunday night, the beginning of a week of uncertainty.  There is more than one area of my life that seems to be shifting.   I have been in a sort of holding cell for almost three years, but  for nearly seven months, life was pretty quiet.  One thing we know for sure is nothing ever stays the same.  So, I would say the past five months have been a season of getting repositioned.  Feelings that were dormant have been awakened, things that were gratifying no longer satisfy, certainties have now become uncertain and some even obsolete.  Tonight, I sort of feel like an oxymoron.  While there is uncertainty which should be unsettling, I feel almost excited that things seem to be about to change.  My dear friend offered this word (from Joyce Meyer) today, "When God leads us out of a situation, He always takes us into something better."  She added, "Be encouraged, fret not and know that God is in c...

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about past, current, and even future relationships.  I've discovered ways in which past relationships have had an effect on current relationships and will quite possibly taint future relationships if corrections and adjustments are not made.  We are all aware past hurts, trials, struggles make us who we are, but we need to realize the impact those things have on our vision, the way we see people.  As my favorite Golden Girl would say, "picture it."  It is morning and you are super excited to be alive!  You get dressed and your morning routine could not be smoother or more efficient.  Your morning devotional was power-packed and you felt you actually touched the Throne of God in your prayer time.  You put on your Super Christian Cape with matching Super Christian shades with, of course, super spiritual lenses.  You are clothed in righteousness, ready for the day!...