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Can I Say I Love You?

Photo by Jude Beck
The most over-used, tired phrase in the history of the human species is "I love you." Now, some may argue the opposite; people do not truly know how much they are loved. I believe people do not trust those three words because the words no longer carry the weight they were intended to from the very beginning of creation. The banal words are often used to manipulate, control, seduce, entice, deceive, replace an apology, or even to fill an awkward silence or uncomfortable moment. We paste on a fake smile and spew falsities while wielding a sword of betrayal for our own hidden agendas.  We say, "I love you," to appear to be the better person rising above the situation all the while conspiring a subtle, yet cruel retaliation.

This morning, I decided to go straight to the love chapter in the book that guides us through the whys and the hows of this life--God's love letter to us--to examine my own heart. Can I honestly say, "I love you?"

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8a tells us:

Love is patient, love is kind.
Am I patient and kind even though I may not like your actions or decisions? Can I love you through your mistakes and missteps?

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
Am I jealous of you? Do I brag about the things I have or the things I can do when I know those are things you desire, too? Am I too proud to admit my own faults and insecurities to you or to admit when I have been wrong or misjudged you?

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs.
Do I speak harshly to you? Do I say I love you to satisfy my own needs or accomplish my goals? Do I keep a checklist of everything I have done right and everything you have done wrong?

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Do I revel in dirty gossip and the juicy details or do I pursue truth in all matters? Am I truthful about my feelings for you to others or only in select groups or situations?

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Do I always have your back or only when it suits me? Do I defend you only in secret or would I stand with you even if we had to stand alone? Am I a fair-weather friend? Do I always look for the best in you or do I only see your flaws?

Love never fails.
Does my love for you always prevail in whatever situation? Even if I think you are wrong? Even if you have more material things than I do? Even if you do not do what I want you to? Even if it would taint the image I have created for myself, would I still have your back? Do I love you no-matter-what?

Love is not merely an emotion, but a decision, a growing, and ever-changing process. It is not often you love a person you have just met. Instant bonds do happen, a joining of kindred spirits and soul ties are created quickly. But I think we all must learn to walk in love, to truly attain the love of Christ for others. Love is found in action. Christ died for us. We must die to ourselves to reach that level of love for others. Words are idle and empty and useless if you cannot back them up.

Love should not hurt. Love should heal. God's love heals every broken place. What does your love do?


"We love because He first loved us. If anyone says, ' I love God' yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom He has not seen. And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must love his brother."
I John 4:19-21 
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