People Pleasers!

Photo by Engin Akyurt

Approval is something we all desire and rarely obtain because we look to human beings to provide it. We look to flawed, complex, selfish beings for validation on everything from how we dress, how we talk, what we watch on television, what we eat, how we raise our children, to who we date or even marry. We do this for that temporary moment of satisfaction that comes with an endorsement from someone we look up to or for the popularity we seek--even if it is done under the guise of "ministry." Meanwhile, we are being offensive to our Creator and living a life that is a betrayal and contradictory to the Bible. 

Wait. What?

I challenge you to seek out scriptures on this topic. Galatians 1:10 made my jaw drop. Paul wrote, "Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." When we let others dictate our every move, we are in all actuality putting them in God's place. They are the ones leading us rather than the Almighty and this is foolishness on so many levels. Most importantly, we are trusting our decisions, our fate if you will, to a human that is just as opinionated and short-sighted as we are...the blind leading the blind. Only our Heavenly Father knows what is ahead. He knows the outcome of our decisions and He will give wisdom if only we would ask. That is not to say, God does not use people to speak into our lives, but we are to seek Godly counsel not the opinions of any and everyone who will listen or agree with us. I love what is written in Isaiah 46:9,10:

"...For I am God, there is no other. I am God, and there is none like Me, Declaring the end from the beginning, And from ancient times things that are not yet done, Saying, 'My counsel shall stand, And I will do all My pleasure..."

Please pardon a short social media rant. Facebook can be fun, and it is a great a way to stay connected with those you love who are in other parts of the world. Social media is in no small way a catalyst of self-centeredness, bragging, and even a cowardly means of hurting people. The platform is often used to publicly insult, reject, and punish people by means of blocking, unfriending, publicly shaming, scolding, etc.

Rejection comes in many forms as does approval seeking. I have some Facebook "friends" who never like or comment on anything I post unless they have something negative or critical to say about it...these I call my Facebook watchdogs. I am sure we have all posted things in hopes someone specific would see and mark their approval by pressing the Like button. This comes from a need to feel included, liked, respected. When the desired number of likes or comments do not come to fruition, devastation comes in its place. Perhaps you are on the flip side of this topic and have found popularity on Facebook and think...I have hundreds or even thousands of likes--I am so loved! Everyone thinks I am a great wife, mother, cook, best friend, Christian ... The task then becomes to maintain that image that is often not even a true reflection of the real person. Finally, comparing your life with the perfect images you see on Facebook is truly the most dangerous, slippery slope. You will find yourself in a state of ungratefulness and dissatisfaction. It is a perilous cyber game of idol worship and "keeping up with the Joneses." Does any of this sound familiar to you?

A final thought I would like you to chew on a bit. Have you ever considered that while frantically milling about trying to get the attention of those who do not love you, or may not even know you, the ones who do know and love you are casualties of your endeavors? Many times over the years, I have been made to feel very small because I did not meet the imposed criteria. I have also been befriended by those who felt superior so they could revel in that feeling of superiority. True friendships are often cultivated when secrets are shared, and private prayer requests are made. Usually, only attention seekers shout from the rooftops their every need or boast of their good deeds. Keep in mind that it is behind the scenes where most often the greatest ministry takes place. 

Ultimately, people pleasing is a selfish desire. For in doing so, we will weary ourselves trying to do the most, be the most to everyone and in everything to obtain some level of hero worship or self-gratification. If there is not some form of recognition, we do not want to be bothered. In every circumstance, ask yourself, Am I doing this to please the Lord by walking in obedience OR am I doing this to please people?  Am I seeking God's approval or am I hoping to gain popularity or recognition? Minister in secret and in due season God Himself will exalt you. That, my friend, is Biblical.

In all we do, our lives should not be a reflection of ourselves, but rather of Christ, the Hope of Glory. When we are pleasing to the Lord, the Bible tells us that even our enemies will be at peace with us. When you are truly a light shining in the darkness, there will be no shortage of opportunities for ministry. I leave you with the words of David.

Psalm 90:17 (NIV) "And may the Lord our God show us His approval; and make our efforts successful. Yes, make our efforts successful!"