A Sober Reflection

Written by: Carlisle Bilbo

There have been several deaths in our family in recent years. Each time I hear of someone's passing I cannot help but think of the finality of life ended. What is done is done. There are no do-overs. Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes that "sorrow is better than laughter because sober reflection is good for the heart." In these times of reflection, the Bible offers so much insight into the divine nature of God and into the very human nature of people.

Regretting wasted years, I have been thinking quite a bit about God's plan for my life, but in looking back over those years, I can see God's guidance, protection, and His provision. The rain brought growth and the days of sunshine enabled me to stand tall. The years of drought and of plenty taught me stability and the importance of "being content in whatever state I am in." (Philippians 4:11)

I see the missteps, too. For a long time, I have felt like much of the heartache I have endured at the hands of others were injustices perpetrated against me. In some cases, that is true. People passed harsh, undeserving judgments, made inaccurate assumptions, and even fabricated stories to deflect from their own misdeeds. Certainly, I am not the only one who has been falsely accused. Lately, though, I am beginning to understand some of the pain I endured is as much my fault as it is the fault of the ones who inflicted the pain.

Delving into scripture I am humbled by the strong parallels with my own actions and experiences. Admittedly since I was young, I often marveled at how the Israelites witnessed with their natural eyes all the wondrous miracles performed in Egypt and in the wilderness. Clothes and shoes that did not wear out over their 40-year journey, the parting of the Red Sea, manna from Heaven, and so on. How could they forsake the God of their fathers, the God who revealed His presence on Mount Sinai, and wrote with His finger the Ten Commandments on the Stone Tablets? Why would they discard the living God for a man-made golden calf?

With a repentant heart, confession is good for this contrite soul. In many ways, I have been a present-day portrait of the Old Testament idol worshipers. There are no sculptured gods in my home, but I have bowed before men and their expectations. I have sacrificed myself on the altar of good intentions. I have compromised my morals and beliefs to appease people allowing them to chip away at the real person inside to form the version of me that was pleasing to them. Falling from the hands of my Creator, morphing into the man-made image of me, I became a chopped up, soulless, unrecognizable shell of the person I was created to be. I can tell you I did not like that image of me at all. It was not natural, it was not comfortable, and it was not sustainable because it was not me. I was a counterfeit.

Moses had a divine appointment on the very mountain that 40 days earlier had shaken with the presence of the Living God. He would descend with handwritten instructions from the mouth of the Savior to find a lawless, rebellious, idolatress, adulteress people worshipping a god they created because they were tired of waiting for what God was preparing for them on Mount Sinai. God would have destroyed them all, but for the intercession of Moses. The punishment for their idolatry was to drink the ashes of the destroyed image. The people gladly paid gold for the graven image and they were repaid with ashes.

So, I dare ask you to have a moment of quiet reflection. Do you have a golden calf?  Have you elevated someone or something above God so you can have what you think you want now? I urge you to consider if you really want to partake of the product of your own efforts or will you wait on the instruction and the perfect timing and the perfect plan of your Lord? 

Sometimes waiting is work. We must silence our minds and quiet our spirits. We must control our emotions and be disciplined while we listen for instruction. 

You may wonder what qualifies me to write these words? 

My experience as a present-day wilderness wanderer who has pursued many gods over the years compels me to share what I have learned the hard way. I have witnessed with my own eyes His unending provision and feasted on fresh mana from Heaven through scriptures. I have seen Him part the waters of impossible situations and make a way where there seemed to be no way. I have pursued affections, relationships, business ventures, goals, dreams, and anything I thought would fulfill that deep longing in my soul all the while missing the treasure God was preparing for me on the mountain. In doing so, I have had to drink the ashes of my own feeble efforts. 

Just as the Israelites had an intercessor in Moses, I would have been destroyed if not for the intercession of Jesus! No longer bound by the limitations of another human, but free by His sacrifice! Through His redemption, I can stand in the presence of my Maker as His true work of art, His prized possession, and I can worship Him in spirit and in TRUTH no longer a counterfeit.

My sober reflection is one that acknowledges who I once was, sees clearly who I am today, and longs for the day my image mirrors that of my Savior!

Exodus 20:2-3, "I am the Lord who has brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other gods before Me."