The Journey

I did the oddest thing the other day leaving my house to get my girls from school. We have a little laundry room that leads out to our garage. In my hurried state, I closed the door from the living room to the laundry room on one end before opening the door that leads to the garage on the other end or at the very least turning on the light. So, I found myself standing in pitch-black darkness. My reaction was to close my eyes. Only a few steps from the light switch, I stood there with eyes closed a slight feeling of panic creeping into my gut. Then, I laughed at myself. Out loud, for real. What an odd thing to do. "I am the light of the world; he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness..." ~John 8:12   En route to the school still amused by my reaction, it occurred to me that though I closed my eyes I was still very much in darkness. Eureka! Talk about a light bulb moment! You see, I stood there in my circumstance not wanting to see that I was alone in the dark,

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,  and my hope is in you all day long."  Psalm 25:5 Photo by: Leighann Blackwood When I began blogging nearly eight years ago, I did not really know what it would become. Ever-changing and developing as my path took twists and U-turns and even some sideroads, The Journey has always been my story. Some take offense as if it is a mean-spirited piece about them, some get upset if conviction comes, but mostly I hope God has used my words to bring healing and hope. Coming from a path of utter destruction, I felt as I should share sometimes my most intimate thoughts and emotions as I meander my way to the Cross. So, I am being totally transparent with you all as I say that today, I am writing from a place of brokenness, uncertainty, emptiness, and heartbreak. When I feel this way, the only thing that brings comfort is God's Word and prayer, much, much prayer. My prayer for today is, "Teach Me to Love." Lo

I hate cancer. Like a thief in the night, the emaciating disease invades the body and steals life. There is no respecter of person, body type, or age and the cancerous tentacles are far more reaching than the person it kills. Cancer destroys homes, crushes relationships, dashes dreams, and shakes rock-solid faith. Cancer proliferates, devastates, and destroys in a cruel, uncontrolled, meaningless way. This past year, cancer invaded my life. Not my body, but my life. Someone so dear to me died in his forties. Once the diagnosis came, everything stopped. Then, he was gone. So many faith-filled people prayed, begged, fasted, and jumped through all the hoops we think God wants us to so we can have our prayers answered. There were so many questions as to why God did not answer, but God did answer. The answer was no. "A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted."  -Ecclesiastes 3:2  We know by scripture that there is a time f

I read recently that 60 million Americans have been affected by identity theft. Sixty million. Here is some perspective. The state of California, the most populous state in the U.S., has a recorded population for 2018 of just under 40 million. Victims of identity theft have reported feelings of loss, devastation, stress, anxiety, fear, and thoughts of suicide. Now, there are 240 million Christians in the U.S. as is documented by Wikipedia. How many of the 240 million would you guess has suffered from some form of identity theft? Consider Jeremiah 1:5 which tell us before we were conceived, we already had an identity. "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you." Source Unknown As I look back over my life, there is a definitive pattern of morphing from one personality into another.  Through subtle undertones or blatant criticisms, I allowed others to not only take my identity but to obliterate it. I experienced those same emotions of devastation, stress, anxiety, fear, and so

"Anyone can be angry--that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way--that is not within everyone's power and that is not easy." -Aristotle When I think of a flared temper or anger, I always envision a volcano. In doing research for my daughter's science project last year, I read several articles about them and learned a thing or two. So much like human nature, volcanoes are reactive under pressure. They can literally blow their top!  Now, there are two main types of eruption. The type most people are familiar with is the very visual, most dramatic, fire-breathing, explosive eruption. There is also the more subtle, oozing eruption that seeps hot lava into the ocean and surrounding vegetation burning up everything in its path. Both forms of eruption are volatile and destructive much like human ire. We are made in God's image. All through the Old Testament you read of God's ange

"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief." -Proverbs 14:13 Grief is a funny thing that sneaks up on you when you least expect it. There is no respect for time and place. Mourning may overtake you at work or in the middle of the grocery store. It keeps you up all night or invades your dreams. Sorrow has many faces. It is loneliness in a crowded room, unwarranted anger, a roller coaster of emotion, or apathy. Everyone is different, and everyone laments in their own way. Some find an inner drive to reinvent themselves while others drown in hopelessness and succumb to defeat. "No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear."  - C.S. Lewis In research for this blog, I ran across an article about a female chimpanzee whose baby died. That mama chimp carried her dead baby around for three days. One Sunday morning as I was getting ready for church, I saw a vision of myself so clearly, I began to weep. In my gri

Life is simply hard sometimes. It can be messy and that is okay for out of adversity comes strength. Right? We build faith muscles along the way. Often, though, we tend to take up residence in the mess. We wallow. Or maybe, we find ourselves blindsided and disoriented and it takes time to get our bearings before we can manage to claw our way out of the mire. Then, there are times when someone comes along and throws us a rope. Don't you get tired of that feeling? I do. I have prayed for several years now that God would reveal himself to me. I want to know Him for myself. Not what I am taught in church or what others say about who He is. I want to truly walk boldly and honestly before God the way He intends and be who He created me to be. Recently, I read in the biblical book of Romans that God makes His invisible qualities visible in the things He made. If we look, we can see God everywhere! The spiritual revealed in the natural. Did you know that in the Bible, trees are often

Source Unknown "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then, God said, 'Let there be light'; and there was light." Genesis 1:1-3 Creation was a six-day process that began and ended with the spoken word of God. He created the heavens and the earth, dry land and the seas, vegetation, seed-bearing plants, and trees on fruit-bearing land. He created seasons, living creatures, and man. Our Creator then rested on the seventh day, the day of fulfillment, the completion of His perfect plan. In one of my favorite passages in Genesis, the scripture depicts the scene of the "Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day." Can you picture it? The Creator walking through His very own creation in the early evening enjoying the brilliant, colorful flowers with their fragrance lingering in the air. The reg

Imagine for a moment being wrapped in total darkness. The smell of smoke  from all that has been reduced to ashes  lingers in the air.  Simultaneously, you feel the heat of your surroundings and the coldness of isolation .  Everything that once was is no longer. Imagine rummaging through the darkness trying to salvage anything of value.  Frantically searching for something to cling to, anything with an inkling of security, you lose your footing as your very foundation crumbles under your feet. Life has spontaneously combusted. Suddenly, you have lost the sense of safety because everything that was secure and steady has now gone sideways.   When complete devastation has become your reality, you s it head in hands with no audible words but crying out from the depths of your inner being. "God, help me!" How can something beautiful emerge from these gray, smoldering ashes? God often gives us answers in the natural to things that occur in us either physically, emotionally, or sp