The Journey

When writing, I have always been brutally honest because truth and light are our most powerful tools to combat deception and darkness. With all that we experience in life and all we overcome; our testimony is the fruit of our labor. So, it seems funny to me that I feel a little shy about sharing this experience so much so that it has taken me weeks to sit down and write it out. The most heartbreak, the biggest disappointments, the greatest anxieties, the worst betrayals, the utmost shame have all been the outcome of taking my destiny into my own hands.  This is my life and I am going to live it how I want to!  And each time, I imagine all of Heaven stepped back and said, "Okay, let us know how that works out for you." And each time, through tears and brokenness, I would crawl back into my Father's presence longing for His lovingkindness. Relinquishing all control, a life of peace would abound until the next time I thought I knew more than He did. Over and over and over....

How long will you slumber?  The whispered words from Heaven sent a jolt through my spirit as a blaring alarm clock in the early hours of the morning. I sat bolt upright in my bed feeling a divine transformation taking place in the very depths of my being.  It's time to get up! There is work to do. I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have absolutely whined about  everything . In part because I have been suspended in the mire of complacency, living an unimpressive life wandering about in an uninspiring, unproductive, lackadaisical spiritual walk.  Feeling  trapped in circumstances out of my control while being rocked by the waves of indecision and doubt and self-degradation, I had been lulled to sleep. I was not trapped. I was stalled. Body, mind, and spirit. Paused. I cannot tell you how many times in the past few months I have absolutely whined about  everything . In part because I have been suspended in the mire of complacency...

Fight or flight has been a resounding theme of my life for many, many years. Ashamedly I admit, I usually flee. I hide from confrontation. Afraid, I cower down because I just cannot take any more blows to my heart, my mind, my self-esteem, my ego, my reputation, and so on. Well, today my friends, I say NO MORE. Today, the line is drawn in the sand. Today, I FIGHT. The only way to combat a lie is with  TRUTH. For such a small word, a lie can be a powerfully, destructive tool. For some, lies roll off their tongues as smooth as silk making it is easier to tell a lie than to speak the truth even about the most insignificant things. Those who know better, however, may feel crushed by the heaviness of conviction when they are knowingly deceitful. Let me tell you, lies have teeth that rip flesh, tear out hearts, and shred a person's reputation. Manipulation and deceit often used for selfish gain spill innocent blood. Fibs, tall tales, white lies, just kidding, fudging, are...

"Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning; Great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23     New year. New perspectives, right? Many of us spend time in self-reflection and muster determination to do things differently in the new year. A fresh start.   Full disclosure. I began this year in penitence because I have worn the heavy cloak of conviction for several weeks. During the mundane task of taking the pup out for his morning stroll, the Lord dropped a question in my spirit. "Do you believe I am God?" Obviously, I responded readily with prayers of affirmation and praise for Him as the God of my salvation! Then, this. "So why aren't you living as though you believe?"  Ouch! "I am God Almighty; walk before me faithfully and be blameless." Genesis 17:1 Have you ever thought about who God truly is? Do we know who it is we worship? Do we imagine an invisible, mystical ...

I did the oddest thing the other day leaving my house to get my girls from school. We have a little laundry room that leads out to our garage. In my hurried state, I closed the door from the living room to the laundry room on one end before opening the door that leads to the garage on the other end or at the very least turning on the light. So, I found myself standing in pitch-black darkness. My reaction was to close my eyes. Only a few steps from the light switch, I stood there with eyes closed a slight feeling of panic creeping into my gut. Then, I laughed at myself. Out loud, for real. What an odd thing to do. "I am the light of the world; he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness..." ~John 8:12   En route to the school still amused by my reaction, it occurred to me that though I closed my eyes I was still very much in darkness. Eureka! Talk about a light bulb moment! You see, I stood there in my circumstance not wanting to see that I was alone in the dark,...

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,  and my hope is in you all day long."  Psalm 25:5 Photo by: Leighann Blackwood When I began blogging nearly eight years ago, I did not really know what it would become. Ever-changing and developing as my path took twists and U-turns and even some sideroads, The Journey has always been my story. Some take offense as if it is a mean-spirited piece about them, some get upset if conviction comes, but mostly I hope God has used my words to bring healing and hope. Coming from a path of utter destruction, I felt as I should share sometimes my most intimate thoughts and emotions as I meander my way to the Cross. So, I am being totally transparent with you all as I say that today, I am writing from a place of brokenness, uncertainty, emptiness, and heartbreak. When I feel this way, the only thing that brings comfort is God's Word and prayer, much, much prayer. My prayer for today is, "Teach Me to Love." Lo...

I hate cancer. Like a thief in the night, the emaciating disease invades the body and steals life. There is no respecter of person, body type, or age and the cancerous tentacles are far more reaching than the person it kills. Cancer destroys homes, crushes relationships, dashes dreams, and shakes rock-solid faith. Cancer proliferates, devastates, and destroys in a cruel, uncontrolled, meaningless way. This past year, cancer invaded my life. Not my body, but my life. Someone so dear to me died in his forties. Once the diagnosis came, everything stopped. Then, he was gone. So many faith-filled people prayed, begged, fasted, and jumped through all the hoops we think God wants us to so we can have our prayers answered. There were so many questions as to why God did not answer, but God did answer. The answer was no. "A time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted."  -Ecclesiastes 3:2  We know by scripture that there is a time f...