The Journey

The stage is set.  The performers, meticulously selected for their roles, are waiting in the wings.  The house lights go down, blackout, the theatre is dark.  Stage lights go on and it is curtain time. Here I am, center stage with the spotlight directly on me and I am completely oblivious.  There is no script.  I set about my daily activities not realizing there's an audience just a few feet away observing every action taken and every word spoken.  The audience is comprised of all the heavenly hosts and rulers of the darkness.  Everyone, captivated by the events about to unfold on the stage,  looks on in eerie silence. I am startled by the entrance of another player from stage left.  Looks harmless, though.  We become engaged in conversation and I am carried away from the light and into the wings.  Fortunately, I am quickly snatched back to the stage by my children, but my eyes are now pee...

"God never made a promise that was too good to be true."  --Dwight L. Moody In preparation for dinner last night, I was busy setting the table, making plates, grabbing flatware and napkins.  My 4-year-old, Carlisle, asked me to change the television station to "her shows."  I said I would as I continued pulling everything together.  Within a few minutes, a very impatient Carlisle was back in the kitchen.  "Mommy, do you remember what you promised?  You forgot.  You said you you would change it to my shows."  Turning toward my anxious daughter, I replied, "Honey, of course, Mommy is going to do what she promised." As I was carrying the plates to the table, the Lord spoke to my spirit, "If you keep your promises to your children, don't you think I will keep mine?" Well, there you go...a tormented soul was instantly quieted. Numbers 23:19  "God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change h...

Fox Network Photos My ex-husband (that would be hubby #1) told me shortly after we were divorced that he had a dream about me.  I have to tell you this dream has been haunting me for the past few days.  In the dream, he was standing beside this random dumpster.  When he peered inside, I was sitting in the middle of it rummaging through the garbage.  With tears in his eyes, ex-hubby said, "I just had this knowing that this was my fault.  I was the one who put you there."  This now brings to mind an episode of the 1997 television show Ally McBeal .   As the single, neurotic lawyer experiences a much-anticipated date turning into a complete disaster, she envisions herself being catapulted from a dumpster.  "Here it comes..."  I have found myself in the middle of a situation that has brought back that very same feeling.  The feeling of total abandonment.  Again, I find how easily I can be discarded....taken out ...

"Humiliation is the beginning of sanctification. "  --John Donne According to Dictionary.com, to humiliate is to "cause a   painful loss of pride, self-respect, dignity; mortify."  No doubt, everyone has encountered and even fostered this feeling.   I think back over relationships, romantic and not, in which I have humiliated and I have been humiliated.  Situations with good intentions, but in all actuality wrong motives, have brought about much grief and much humiliation. If you've ever felt lower than pond scum, you have felt humiliation.  I think people who experience it the most are those people who care the most, who love the deepest, who yearn for a closeness, for intimacy.  They put themselves "out there" the most only to draw back a stub.  They end up feeling uncared for, unloved, and like there is a gulf between them and the people they most want to touch or the group they long to be a part of.  Recent...

I'm sitting here counting down the minutes...time for worship.  I am amazed how my life has changed over the past couple of years.  There was a time in my life that I did not look forward to Sunday mornings.  I would lie in bed and think of any and every excuse not to go.  This morning was the same scenario.  Only this time, I had a reason to counteract even the thought of not going.  There is no question in my mind about whether or not I'm going.  (The question might be more of what in the world I will wear! Ha!) So, what's so amazing about that?  My heart aches this morning.  My soul feels empty, yet I know my Redeemer lives!  I have a mental picture of walking arm-in-arm with my friend, my confidant.  He is the One Who will never leave me, He will always come back for me, He chose me first.  And Oh, how He loves me! Why wouldn't I want to go worship Him? Psalm 84:2 "My soul yearns, even fain...

For the past 1 1/2 hours, I have been lying in my bed at the point of dozing off only to realize that I am still very much awake.  It seems as I'm just about to hit that wonderful dream state my eyes pop open.  The clock says it's only been 15 minutes since the last time I checked.   There isn't one thing in particular that has rendered me Sleepless in Holly Cove .  My mind has run through every possible scenario...everything that has happened, could have happened, and of course, probably will happen. This time of year once seemed so magical to me.  People were happier.  Every house or at least every other house on every block was decorated.  This year, however, hasn't really even seemed like Christmas.  I couldn't wait for the Christmas movies, music, decorations, and lights, lights, lights.  The same Christmas movies are being aired over and over.  Same boy meets girl.  Boy chases girl.  Girl pretends to resist....

reject   rēject  — vb:  to throw out as useless or worthless; discard So many times, I have asked, "God, what is it about me that I can be so easily discarded, so easily forgotten?"  I have often wondered what is it that I'm lacking?  That one thing that would make someone realize I was worth holding on to.  Worth an investment or the time to get to know the person I really am on the inside.  Or do they see that person on the inside and  that is the person that repels others.  Clearly, my love life has been disasterous, but relationships just do not come easily to me, romantic or not.  It is as if I'm right in the middle of the crowd, but yet, I don't really fit. Sometimes, rejection is God-ordained. Remember the story of Moses and the Isrealites. In Exodus 4:21, the Lord tells Moses he would do all of these miracles and wonders, "but I will make him [Pharaoh] stubborn and harden his heart, so that he will not let the peopl...