The Journey

Probably one of the hardest things of marital separation or divorce is enduring those oh so long and oh so lonely nights.  I'm not merely referring to the sexual intimacy of the marriage bed, but rather the security of it, of the nightly routines.  Putting the kids to bed, reading or watching your favorite television show, or just the mundane conversations of how the upcoming week will be organized and the coordination of schedules, school events, demands of the job, while attempting to balance somewhat of a personal life, something fun even.  My estranged husband and I used to share ice cream.  It was just part of the routine.  I'd set the coffee for the next morning, prepare two glasses of water for the bedside tables, and one big bowl of ice cream before retreating to the bedroom.  (Or in our case, tiptoeing so the toddler, a very light sleeper, in the next room did not wake up and set us back an hour or two.) While routines can seem so boring and monotonous, the loss of t

Mark 12:33  "To love him (God) with all your heart, with all your understanding and with all your strength, and to love your neighbor as yourself is more important than all burnt offerings and sacrifices.” How do I love ME?  Let me count the ways... I clothe myself.  I feed myself.  I pray for myself.  I pity myself...a lot!  I even, "treat" myself occasionally.  I am pretty good to myself and I'm always looking out for me. Romans 13:9-10 is recorded as "...and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule:  Love your neighbor as yourself.  Love does no harm to its neighbor.  Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law."  Dictionary.com defines neighbor as "one's fellow human being".  It is not defined as a person of a particular sex, race, or creed.  Nor is neighbor defined as someone who always agrees with you.  There is no mention of faith or doctrine.  Fellow human being.  Period. We know from 1 Corinth

Buried alive in the natural...probably every person's worst nightmare.  The lack of oxygen leads to a slow, cruel, torturous death.  First, loss of consciousness.  Next, permanent brain damage.  Finally, death.  I would guess the moments leading up the to the loss of consciousness would be the longest moments spent on earth.  The fear of the unknown, the fear of death seems more painful than the actual process of dying. Buried alive spiritually...very much the same process.  Sounds unthinkable, bizarre even, but it happens to many every single day, often without their knowledge.  Spiritual death can happen to you sitting on the front row in church just as easily as sitting in the local pub.  Death can come while out clubbing with friends or delivering a sermon in the pulpit. I hear the question What do you mean, what are you even talking about? Buried alive is...that moment when you wake up and say How did I get here?  I thought about it that one time, only tried it once.   I

I know, it sounds impossible.  What could be harder than loving someone whose number one goal is to hurt me?  This concept, while very hard to swallow, is in fact the most freeing, the most strengthening, the most healing strategy in spiritual warfare.  And, yes, the most difficult.  Let's go to scripture: Matthew 18:7 is recorded as, "For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!"  While we should not rejoice in the words of Matthew, we should take comfort in them.  The Bible tells us that "all things work together for good for those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose."  (Romans 8:28)  All means ALL.  All good, all bad, all things.  So, you have to ask yourself: "What is it that I need to take from this situation?  What is the lesson here?  What does this matter say to me and say about me?"  Let's go deeper:  "How did I react to this?  Did I respond with holiness, with a contrite spirit?&quo

My previous blogs these past couple of weeks have revealed a wounded soldier, a weaker, less attractive side we hope others don't see.  I'm not sure why the Lord has impressed upon me to be so open about things I'd prefer to hide, but His plan, His way, His will.  So, while I feel I am still in the heat of the battle, I'm finding daily reasons for this particular trial.  He is, almost minute-by-minute, step-by-step, uncovering His purpose in all of this. For the past few weeks, I have been desperately seeking answers from God regarding a particular situation.  As I have stated to Him numerous times, I was rocking along with my neat, little life when out of the blue, I wake up to find myself at this impasse.  Quite a predicament, really.  Some prayer times consisted mostly of, "Why, God?  How, God?"  Followed by another, "why, God?  What now, God?"  There was no voice from heaven, no trumpets blasting, no bright light of revelation.  Only silence.

Today, I had an appointment with my doctor whose practice is in a small town about 40 minutes away.  The drive is pleasant with its winding, rural roads meandering through acres of farmland.  Seemingly, the trees open their limbs to expose a vast expanse of sky making one think the sky is actually bigger and bluer in the country than in town.  There are plenty of doctors in the town where I live, but I don't mind the drive because just as the sky opens and clears out here so does does my mind.  Immediately, I am reminded of this very same commute taken this time last year.  In the fall of 2009, my appendix ruptured.  The rupture was discovered three weeks after the fact.  Yes, I should be dead.  Once again, the Lord had spared my life.  Only a few short weeks after treatment and recovery, I found myself back in surgery to remove my gall bladder.  Still, after both surgeries I did not feel normal.  I was so fatigued.  I had resumed a normal work schedule and it was taking its toll